1. |
Acknowledgment
01:49
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A whole lifetime of imperial lies isn’t your fault
But you’ve got to start trying
Your commitment to change is on you alone
If you want to take part while the future unfolds
Why are you standing on grass trying so hard to grow?
My partner once asked but I didn’t know
Cause all I had read had not reached my soul
I was stuck on the thought that the whole world’s cruel
The orgs that you’re in don’t somehow erase
The structures of power in which you partake
How is it we can be above such critique
When the states that we’re under ensure our safety?
We’ve got to stop trying to conquer and win
We’ve got to start living to act in amends
It doesn’t matter if you’re forgotten once dead
So long as your work is continued instead
Why are you standing on grass trying so hard to grow?
I ask of you now and maybe you know
The way that you live is a reflection of soul
I promise you that not the whole world’s cruel
Respect for the earth
Respect for the trees
Respect for the land
Respect for all beings
Respect for the grass
Respect for the past
Respect what remains
Respect the air we breathe
Before “mutual aid” it was simply the way
Our colonial path is what bore it a name
Before “mutual aid” it needed no name
I acknowledge my place in all we’ve erased
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2. |
Survivor II
02:19
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Your parent, your sibling, your uncle, your aunt
Your cousin, your teacher, grandparent, or friend
Your ex, your caregiver, your mentor back then
Abused your trust and the role they were in
They tried to inflict those wounds on you
Each gouge is still afflicting you
My wounds for so long I simply dismissed
Like putting a bandage on a slit wrist
It wasn’t my place offer to stitch
Anyone else while my blood dripped
So this is me now—the sutures dissolved
A needle alone just won’t resolve
Can’t teach you to sew, but I found this thread
Feel these scars, I promise you this
Whoever you are, whatever you do
You’re still here—survived the abuse
Whoever they are, whatever they did
This is your life, your body you’re in
So starting right now—we’re taking this back
Our trust and our love—we’ll choose what we give
I’m done being hushed on what can be said
She knows damn well just what she did
“It’s just not the truth”
“There’s not a lot you can do with lies, Paul”
“I know”
“There’s not a lot you can do with lies”
“I’m just hoping that the truth will carry”
“I’m just hoping that my voice will carry”
“I’m just counting on my voice”
Whoever you are, whatever you do
You’re still here—survived the abuse
Whoever they are, whatever they did
This is your life, your body you’re in
So starting right now—we’re taking this back
Our trust and our love—we’ll choose what we give
I’m done being hushed—she knows who she is
Make one more move and I’ll say your name
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3. |
Compliance
02:53
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All those years it took to beat me down
I kept fighting from “lower ground”
Pushed back to be gaslit
Abused and kicked out
My anger—not displaced
Is still justified
You can’t assimilate
Those who won’t comply
Did I have the right to education
Or indoctrination at best?
Cause the only narrative I got
Instilled my own worthlessness
My anger—not displaced
Is still justified
You can’t assimilate
Those who won’t comply
I spent years watching my tone
You shoulda been watchin your back
Proud of those slaughters—conquests for power
Every last life that this state devours
I held my tongue—cat got yours?
I’m not fit to die in your wars?
I found out then what I know now
Exactly what your “free speech” allows
Your job is to churn out workers
Compliant and able bodied
Tell me where the fuck do I fit
Inside your delusion of things?
My anger—not displaced
Is still justified
You can’t assimilate
Those who won’t comply
You think this is worth fixing?
I don’t want your so called changed
Those you abused awakened
To abolish all that remains
My anger—not displaced
Is still justified
You can’t assimilate
Those who won’t comply
Long since done watching my tone
You should still be watchin your back
Quit preachin slaughters—conquests for power
You can’t justify what this state devours
I held my tongue—who holds yours?
Is it those who orchestrate war?
Find out now what I knew then
Exactly where your “free speech” ends
Imperial lies. Imperial lies.
Fascism relies on us to comply
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4. |
Stuck in Motion
01:46
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Repeat our patterns like clockwork
The gears are turning why does this feel lodged?
Days go by and the ticking persists
But what’s it worth when the chime is absent?
How the fuck do I keep going
When I’m always stuck in waiting?
Sacrifice and rumination
Nothing but the time is changing
Hands are always pointing out
Pointing out so far away
Arms are never reaching out
Never reaching close to me
I once thought this was winding
Up in to so much more
Repeat our patterns like clockwork
The gears are turning why is it still lodged?
Years go by and the ticking persists
It’s all for naught when the chime is absent
Sacrifice and rumination
Nothing but the time is changing
How the fuck do I keep going
When I’m always stuck in waiting?
Sacrifice and rumination
Nothing but the time is changing
Hands are always pointing out
Pointing out so far away
Arms are never reaching out
Never reaching close to me
I once thought this was winding
Up in to so much more
I spent life stuck in motion
I’ve found hope in finally giving up
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5. |
Bloodshot, 1617
02:24
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I'm the stillborn that came out screaming
Yeah, one of the swaddled children
My face beat red in transfusion
An unknown painter depicted me
In 1617, I should have died prenatally
In my desperation I made it past my infancy
The crippled bloodshot fraction of a person you consider me to be
I could pray for a stroke of genius
But I’ve had the prior half
If you want to see conflicted
You can come and fucking question that
When you’ve faced discrimination
From everyone you’ve known or loved
You might begin to question just a thing or two
Shame that I survived just to burden you with this
I appreciate your grace and permission to exist
Striking forth—cut the chord
An umbilical splice
What’s left of my cerebrum
Chokes down the saliva
I could pray for a stroke of genius
But I’ve had the prior half
If you want to see conflicted
You can come and fucking question that
If every ounce of love you’d felt
Had been intertwined with pity
You might begin to ask yourself
What you’ve even known authentically
Yet what I propose to you in theory
Is what I know to be reality
Living countless interactions
To be the subject of your charity
Either exposed on introduction
Or awaiting the unravelling
Excuse my obligation to offer you so much of me
Here I am as someone struggling not to shun their family
And you think that you can tell me you’d rather kill yourself than be me?
Learn your fuckin place
Don’t you speak to half of what the fuck it means
While you treated me like a rotted sack, like half a human being
What little you permit reduced me down to this
To watch my future crumble in the clench of my palsied, crippled fist
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The Ableist Chicago, Illinois
Current:
Barry, Sean, Stephan, Pete, Paul.
Former/Rotating: Maddie, Jairus, Johnny, Dave.
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